Who says you CAN and who says you CAN’T do something….YOU and only YOU can make that decision! I mean there will always be traffic, congestion and noise from surrounding people and situations, but ultimately it is only YOU who can pull the trigger or pull the plug on doing something great and making your dreams come true.
Fear of failure!
Who is familiar with that little voice in your head that can literally make you overanalyse certain situations? It usually starts talking to you when you're in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps when you're somewhere you’ve never been before, like having the overnight lead going into the last day of the US Masters, or maybe just your club championship.
Or how about that fear you have when your putting yourself out there for the world to judge you, again that little voice asking you if you are sure you want to do this, whether it be competing in your first tournament, taking an exam or writing that book you always wanted to write.
So how about this scenario; being afraid of yourself, if you go out and work your ass off at being your best, what if you aren’t as good as you hoped you’d be?
We often fear our own failure because failure can leave us shattered emotionally. Is it because we are brought up in a world that is result orientated where we can’t help comparing our achievements to what others are doing, have done, or what we expect of ourselves or what others expect from us.
This little voice is why most people never amount to greatness. It’s why most people never get up off the sofa and dare to try. It’s why when we do attempt at achieving something great, we often give up at the first speed bump that knocks us back saying that it wasn’t meant to be, then finding some sort of excuse to why we gave up instead of taking responsibility for our actions of giving up.
So how about fear of success then?
Fear of success is that feeling when you’re about to do something really great, but then you doubt yourself, because you’re so used to failing that you’re just waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under your feet, just waiting for something bad to happen! The problem with this is when you believe something bad is going to happen, it usually does! That could be the power of the human psyche, not my expertise, but you get the idea I'm sure. Just think about speeding down a hill on your bike and as you lean into a sharp corner you keep looking at the guardrail on the outside of the corner, then all of a sudden like some freak of nature your bike over runs the corner and your flying over the guardrail, what just happened here? If you focus on where you shouldn't go instead of where you should go you'll end up going to the wrong place! Same thing happens when your expecting something bad to happen instead of expecting something good to happen! Well why shouldn’t something good happen to you, after all if you’ve worked hard towards achieving something then you deserve it. It may not happen the first time around, but I’m a firm believer that you eventually get what you deserve, so keep at it!
People that succeed don’t follow little voices and they aren't waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under their feet either. Because they are not result orientated, they are focused on the process involved in success. They challenge themselves to do something different. Not afraid of the consequences, or failures that may lurk in front of them. Most people that don't succeed try to do the same thing that's always been done attempting do blend in and they definatly don’t want others to see them failing. Failure is a huge part of success, you will not meet a successful person that hasn't failed somewhere along the line! Failure and success go hand in hand, but those who have the ability to pick themselves back up again, and again , and again are the ones that will succeed! Most people fear what others might think of them so they try to blend in and appear normal, by finding a group or style or image that is socially accepted by the people they follow. Blending in is more comfortable and easier, but it often prevents you from doing your own thing and following your dreams that will challenge you as you attempt to do something you always wanted to do! I don't get this at all... I mean i do, but i don't. I understand it, but it doesn't make any sense to me. Does that make sense to you?
Believe me when I tell you that there’s no satisfaction in getting too comfortable and just watching your life and your dreams disappear slowly into the horizon.
Challenging yourself to do something great is a blast! The journey, the accomplishment, the self-satisfaction of picking yourself back up again after being knocked down, and surviving to tell the story is what success really is! Knowing that you gave it your all is how you will learn to love yourself and enjoy your life!
I hope you've enjoyed reading this and now feel inspired to take on the world!
Thank you for reading and as usual feel free to leave a comment or leave a request! For more great knowledge on how you can be your best be sure to order your copy of the Golfers Handbook - Save your golf game and your life! on iTunes!
Coach Adam Stevenson
PGA Professional & TPI Certified Coach
Sponge of learning!
Author of the Golfers Handbook - Save your golf game and your life!